FATHERHOOD AND SONSHIP IN MINISTRY (1)

I feel it's time to make Scriptural comments about Fatherhood and Sonship in the ministry. Over the years I have started mentoring clubs and meetings due to heavy demand on me by pastors and church leaders. I have spend my money, time resources and opportunities in raising other ministers in and for the work of the LORD, yet, only few I can honestly point to that are genuine and doing the work sincerely and in godly ways.

One of the major dysfunction of the church today has to do with the issue of fatherhood. The calamities and corruptions of the church today can be traced back to poor fathering. Too many so called ‘fathers’have not been good fathers, while some have abused their fatherly positions. Consequently, many ministers are without father figures in their lives and the ministry has been the worse for it. Furthermore, many teachings on mentoring and fatherhood has been grossly one sided and the results have been unpalatable on all sides. Its time we take a dispassionate look at this major dysfunction again with a view to strike the needed balance for the good of all.

A.Scriptural Basis - Matt. 3:9; 6:9; Exo. 18:13-21; Acts 18:24-28;

1 Tim. 1:2

Jesus introduced God as our Father. Abraham is addressed as the Father of Faith. Fathers are the foundations of our lives and faith. Fathers are the spiritual giant Overseeing, Covering and Backing us up along the journey of life and faith. Everyone need a father,but not everybody can and do function as good ,godly father to those under him. The place of a good father cannot be overemphasized. A fatherless generation is surely a lost generation. There can be biological fathers, spiritual fathers, church fathers, ministry fathers and eternal fathers.

❖ Moses had Father Jethro

❖ Young Joshua had Moses

❖ Young Samuel had prophet Eli

❖ King Saul had prophet Samuel

❖ Prophet Elisha had prophet Elijah

❖ King David had prophet Nathan

❖ King Solomon had king David.

❖ Appolo had Priscilla and Aquila

❖ Paul had Simon, Barnabas

❖ Timothy had Apostle Paul.

Spiritual fathers can be called several names, such as mentors, coaches,leaders and overseers (1 Cor. 4:15). A spiritual father is someone who brought you to the Lord; develop and taught you; disciple and grow you; nurture and believe in you; gave you platform and introduce you; train and hone your gift and calling; prays and intercede for you; gives you foresight out of his own hindsight. A pioneer in ministry and someone who has brought much challenge, inspiration, instruction and blessings to your life by his own examples, teachings and ministry. A true father invests time, trust and resources in his children over a long period of time. A true father spends and continues to invest in the future potentials of his children. He is really happy to see them grow and fulfilling potentials. In some occasions, your spiritual father can also function as your mentor and coach, but in other occasions, your mentor will be radically different from your spiritual or biological father. I will still expanciate on that later.

B.The Need for Spiritual Fathers in Ministry - Acts 18:24-28

By its nature, ministry is a thankless job and it kills. Without spiritual fathers, you can be easily consumed by the vagaries of ministry. If you are to last long and survive the contaminating effect of ministry, you will surely need a father figure in your life.

▪ For training, instruction and leadership

▪ For direction, counseling and guidance

▪ For covering, protection and upliftment

▪ For accountability and responsibility.

▪ To avoid error, false doctrine and drifting

▪ For blessing and favour

▪ For platform and open doors

▪ To avoid mistakes that ruin ministries.

No matter who you are and the level of your encounter with the Lord, you Will surely need a father figure in your life. Without a good and godly spiritual father, you will fall prey to the machinations of the devil.

How can you really go far, when you are the all in all of your life and ministry? Robert Liadon had no father in ministry and he fell. Ted Haggard failed to open up to his father, but when he fell, his father saved His ministry. Larry Stocktill and John Maxwell credited their life and ministry success to their biological and spiritual fathers.

Don't ever do ministry without a good and godly father that will hold you accountable. You will always NEED someone to report yourself to, someone to speak candidly to you, someone who can call you by your first name and spank you on the head, if need be,: someone that will sharply rebuke you, someone you are truly afraid of and who have authority over your life and ministry.

You need someone who have the permission to discipline you when you go out of line. You need someone you can submit your "revelations" to before you start teaching them.

Unfortunately, lots of young ministers of today don't have this kind of person in their lives and ministries,small wonder many are going astray and dabbling into erroneous practices.

I know that this issue had been grossly abused today, to the extent that many ministers have no father figure in their lives and ministry. Many are practicing distant fathering-that is calling someone your father whom you don't have one on one relationship with. Just like many people referring to me as their father or mentor, whom I have not seen,known or met.

While wrong teachings and practices have portrayed the issue of fatherhood or mentoring in ministry only from the financial angle, yet the fact of scripture shows that it is far beyond that. As you follow me on this issue in subsequent posts, you will discover the true scriptural meaning and practice of godly mentoring, coaching and fathering in ministry, then and now.

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FATHERHOOD AND SONSHIP IN MINISTRY.(2)

This is the second part in this crucial and scriptural subject,but which has been much abused today. Kindly read it with open heart and prayers, for it might shatter most of what you have previously been taught. There is still more to come. Here we go again.

C. Responsibilities of Spiritual Fathers – I Cor. 4:15, Isaiah 42:1-4, Prov. 13:22.

One of my friends asked me a question about distant or abstract mentoring, coaching or fathering, and this is my reply; In some situations like the one you mentioned, there is possibility of distant and abstract mentoring. I have benefitted from this also. Even, lots of people are mentored by my posts, books and conferences over the years, but the ideal nature of mentoring is one on one sir. Personal contact, nurturing, covering, impartation, accountability, and sharing is fundamental to scriptural mentoring. Another scriptural name for mentoring or fathering is discipleship

Spiritual fathers have awesome responsibilities in the body of Christ. Much more than physical fathers, they are to nurture the next generation of leaders for Christ. Once you preach the gospel of Christ and you have converts that looks up to you for spiritual growth and walk with God, you are a spiritual parent, and your responsibilities are inclusive of these:

➢ Nurturing and empowering

➢ Lay a legacy of good work and value system

➢ Be a good model and worthy example

➢ Broadminded and developer of talents

➢ Discipline and correction in truth.

➢ Encourage the weak, lift the fallen.

➢ Provide a ladder and platform

➢ Challenge and motivate for great impact

➢ Invoke divine blessings, favour and open doors.

A good and godly father must be free from selfishness, pettiness and jealousy, He is happy to raise up the foundation of many generations and rebuild the old waste places - Isaiah 58: 10-12. He must be ready to invest in the potentials,gifts and ministry of others.

D. Difference between a father and mentor.

Too many people are confused about the difference between a spiritual father and a mentor. Yes, in many instances, both can be the same, yet in lots of occasions also, they can be different. Different people can play these roles in your life over period of time. For example, I have some few spiritual fathers In my life, and also have many mentors. My spiritual fathers were there for me at the beginning of my spiritual walk with the Lord, they were there for me at the foundation of my ministry. But have to look for mentors in the unique area of ministry that God called me into, because it was way beyond the understanding of my spiritual fathers then. Well, you may only have one or two fathers, however, you can have many mentors in your life, such as marriage, finance, ministry, health and leadership mentors or coaches. The followings are major differences between a spiritual father and mentors.

A father helped you to start, a mentor keep you on track

A father build you up, a mentor gives you clarified vision

A father sees your potentials, a mentor makes you fulfill it

A father keeps track of you, a mentor speaks to you candidly

A father deserves your care, a mentor receives your gifts

A father endures with you, a mentor place a demand on you.

A father knows you well, a mentor seeks to know you.

A true father will never abuse you, a mentor can take advantage of you.

A true father sets you on the way, a mentor gives you a ladder to climb

A true father posses a large,patient heart, a mentor wants verifiable results.

Apostle Paul writes through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, " For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel" You will almost always need a mentor and father in the ministry, if you are going to go far. Your father or mentor may not be popular, well known nor have a 'big' ministry,but once he has demonstrates the qualities of a good father or mentor, it is wicked to abandon him for a popular one

It's a lie to say you can't have two fathers. You sure definitely can have more than one father or mentor, because the one who gave birth to you, either biologically or spiritually, may not, or do not play that role in your life to any appreciable degree.

D.Types of Spiritual Fathers in Ministry Today

I need to repeat again and again, a good and godly mentor will add good value to your life and set you in the ways of God, to realize His assignment for your life. A mentor or father that only takes from you but doesn't add to you is an aberration.

Over the years, both in my personal experience and research work, I have come across many different types of fathers in ministry. Check out these:-

1.Self-imposed Fathers

These are senior ministers that felt that you should be under them, because they see the good work God is doing through you. They behave as if they are your mentor and impose themselves on you. They place a demand on you and get offended if you don't treat them as they expected. Without much ado, they proudly refer to you as 'my son in the ministry', when you invite them to preach in your church, yet they are not contributing anything to you, but only interested in your seed, tithes and gifts.

2.Absentee Fathers

They are truly your father, but they are never available.. They are not there for you when you need them. They only collect your tithe and write you a receipt. To see them might take 3-6 months. They see you as a pest in their lives, just a number or meal ticket. In most cases, they don't know you,visit you nor out a call through to you to ask of your welfare. But when they don't receive your tithes in time, they threaten to place a curse on you.

3.Abusive Fathers:

They take advantages of you and inflict pain on you. They demand for money, respect and things you cannot afford. They see whatever you give them as a right and never really appreciate your sacrifices. They castigate, backstab and injure you. They sided with your accusers and run you down at every opportunity.

4.Cash Fathers:

They are only after money, gifts and benefits from you. They will never correct nor rebuke you for any wrong. They relate with you on cash and carry basis. They sing and talk of their needs in your ears, and you only get close to their good book when money is flowing from you to them. Once the money stops, you are a bad boy!

5.Backsliding Fathers

They started with God, but have somehow gone back into sin and error. They now live against what they once preached. Their lives and ministries have become corrupt, immoral and against the scripture, yet they are laying hands on upcoming young ministers here and there, thus contaminating their future. Moreover, they see you as their sons and they keep a hold on you. They find it hard to accept their errors. Some of them have dabble into occultism, spurious prophetic acts and strange miracles in ministry,and they want to lure you in too by your close proximity to them.

6. Selfish Fathers.

These are fathers that are like King Saul of old. They are jealous, insecure of the graces, potentials and gifting of their young David. They are threatened, reactionary and will do anything to keep their protege in bondage and not release them to go and fulfill their God given purposes. They only think in terms of Me, I, Myself.

7. Nurturing Fathers

They spent time, talent and treasures to nurture and empower sons in the Lord. They discipline and correct where possible. They demonstrate concern for the person than their gifts. They holds relational meetings, counseling sessions, question and answer sessions for their mentees. They visit, call, pray for and intercede for those who look up to them as spiritual parents..They are willing to provide resources that will uplift their dependants in the Lord. They are fruitful grounds to sow.

What kind of spiritual father, mentor or coach are you to those looking up to you?

FATHERHOOD AND SONSHIP IN MINISTRY(3)

It is important to strike a good balance in this write up. In the last two installments, I have dwell much on the fathers, permit me to use this third and final part to peep a little into the sons in ministry. One way or the other, we are all sons to someone at one point or the other in our life and walk with God.

Sons Responsibility to Fathers - I Sam. 17:55,58

Who is your father? Whose son are you? If you are not a son, you cannot raise true sons. You cannot go far if you don't have a father - Matt. 3: 1 7

In ministry today, we have different type of children and sons:

1. Vagabond sons - Unsure, prostituting and immoral sons. These are sons that spun the teachings of their fathers and do what they like. I know quite a lot of these type of sons in ministry.

2. Disobedient sons - a pain to their father. They live wayward, ungodly and shameful lives that doesn't reflect who their father is

3.Fatherless sons - responsible to nobody but themselves. These are sons that deny having a father and sees no need to have one. They want total freedom from any father figure in their lives and are a law to themselves.

4. Prodigal sons - wasters and sinful. These are sons that fall away through their carelessness and willfulness, thereby wasting the investments of God and their spiritual parents on them.

5.Pleasing sons - a pride, joy and promotion to the father. "My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments. Proverbs 3:1. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine heart observe my ways" Proverbs 23:26.

You can only be blessed and benefit maximally when you are a true and pleasing son to your father - Pro.31, 11; 27: 11. The first four type of sons will not really make head way in life and ministry. It is only the fifth type of son that will be really blessed by God and his father. So, be a good and pleasing son to whoever you make a father or mentor in life and ministry

1.Even if you are fatherless, go and prayerfully, carefully choose a good and godly father.

2.Formally tell him that you are making him your father or mentor

3.Strive to build a cordial relationship with your father.

4.Publicly proclaim your father to others.

5.Be open to the correction and rebuke of your father.

6.Don't expect your spiritual father to be an angel- he is human after all.

7.Forgive his mistakes, once they are not blatant sins and errors.

8.Take good care of your father in cash and kind.

9.Visit, relate and spend time with your father as much as possible.

10.Consciously seek your fathers blessing always.

11.Prove to your father that you are not a bastard and his investment is not a waste on you.

Relationship with Spiritual Fathers

Unfortunately, too many ministers don't know how to truly choose nor relate with a spiritual father. Very many only have spiritual fathers in name only, yet they build no relationship with their fathers. Others are still sulking from the injuries and abuses inflicted on them by their past fathers. However, you must allow God,to,heal your hurts and move on to choose good and godly mentors over your life and work.

It takes good relationship before you can enjoy the maximum benefit of a spiritual

father.

1.You must carefully pray and seek the Lord for a spiritual father, and Formally inform him.

2.You must watch, see and observe the life and teachings of your father. Don’t follow blindly. This is very crucial. Don't choose a mentor or father because of public image or outward success in ministry.

3.Your spiritual father must be someone you admire, love and happy to be with.

4.Your spiritual father must spend time with you and share together.

5.Your spiritual father must know you, your story, struggles and successes.

6.Your spiritual father must speak to your life regularly.

7.You must profit and be promoted by the counsel and prayers of your father.

8.You must not be ashamed to show off your spiritual father.

9.You must follow the example of your spiritual father.

10.You must sow into and tap into the wisdom, grace and anointing of your father.

The Fathers Blessing - Gen. 27:4,33; 48:15; 49:22-26

Fathers have power and authority over their sons. They can make and unmake through their blessings or curse. Many leaders have no physical or spiritual father to bless them and their work, reason for struggling and failure.

❖ Fathers blessing brings promotion

❖ Fathers blessing brings Exaltation

❖ Fathers blessing brings Fruitfulness

❖ Fathers blessing brings Victory

❖ Fathers blessing brings Favour

❖ Fathers blessing brings Breakthrough

❖ Fathers blessing brings Release from curse

❖ Fathers blessing breaks old law and brings new.

An unspoken blessing over a child means the child will inherit all the negative points of the father. Abraham never really bless Isaac (Gen. 25:5). He therefore inherited delayed child, backsliding, lying of the father and his physical wealth. Leaders and fathers must intentionally and deliberately bless their children. Sons must deliberately seek the blessing of their fathers. Something will really be missing in your life without the blessing of a father. But beware of the negative impact of a backsliding and abusive father.

In closing, kindly take these few lessons to heart and let them reflect in your work and walk with the Lord. Worship and serve the Lord wholeheartedly, but also recognize the place of mentors, fathers and seniors in ministry. Don't worship man, but follow wisely and carefully. Make sure you don't imbibe the mistakes and sins of your fathers. In fact, show to God that you can do better than your fathers. Learn to follow those who have good testimony, character and fear of God in their doings.

Am afraid I have to stop it here, even though I have more. I will surely reserve the rest for my coming book on this subject. Thanks for reading and wonderful comments.

PASTOR GABRIEL OKO EGWU

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Pastor E O Gabriel